Well as the title says I'm unhappy - completely unhappy today because of one reason. I sent harding a message last night which facebook says she saw and there was no answer whatsoever! She saw the message for f**ks sake and no reply - not even an explanation. She may have been unavailable but we had arranged to chat last night ( like we do every night ). I really hope I'm jumping the gun here, I hope she was unavailable then to tired to reply, I hope that her facebook messaging service is still working, f**k this is horrible.
It's 10.17 in the morning here and I slept about 5 hours on the job last night ( maybe more ) and when I got home I kipped an extra 1.5 hours till about 9.40. I'm dressed and ready to go for a run in a bit to get rid of this horrible feeling I have shooting through me. I only found out yesterday that stress can aid weight gain - just what I need man! I am really pissed here and not at all positive in any way shape or form. Just glanced at my hand and saw the faded POS there ( got to remember to look at this all day now ).
Well it's 10.45 and POS is not bloody working and I'm feeling down. I'm not that even worried about the gig this weekend ( which I should be ). Turns out by the time we set up we will only have about half an hour to gig ( thank god cos a few of the songs I'm not that familiar with ). This afternoon I'm defo going to find an hour spare to get some music done. I'm online now and have very little work done thus far - probably because of my mindset.
It's 1.20 lunchtime and hardings expensive body wash has arrived so I may use a picture of it as I contact her tonight. Getting pretty desperate eh! I could almost laugh at myself at the moment - not good at all, self esteem and confidence draining from my again. I'm off to do a bit of recording that I promised myself now, will finish off this posting later.
Hello again, well it's 3.40 and I've managed to get over an hour done in my mini-studio upstairs. Pretty chuffed really and feeling a little better. I've got a few decent songs up their now and more importantly they are my songs - my songs which nobody else is going to touch. Just scanned facebook and notice the lead guitarist from the band has been commenting on my band posts saying I never play guitar I just do the easy part - writing songs! That is the final nail in the coffin, from now onwards my band will come second fiddle to my own solo efforts.
Sent a picture message to harding with the body product she wanted and so far no response. I don't want to seem selfish and I hope everything's alright with her - I am really getting a little bit worried here! Please contact me ARRGHHHHHHHH! I hate the not knowing - it sucks. But we have been getting on great and have talked nearly every night since she came back from France. We have even arranged to meet for coffee and then another date for 'chinese'. So always replies to all my messages but for some reason last night she viewed my message but did not choose to reply. God, I hope she's alright - this is fast turning out to be a real nightmare, I hope her family are alright to ( I just don't know what to think ).
Enough of this nightmare for today - I'm going to get ready for my nightshift so I'm going to cut this short - I've just about said everything I needed to say today and I'm feeling slightly more positive for saying it!
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