Yeah, unfortunately I think I'm going to have to move on with my love life. Ever since my admissions and the meeting with harding ( that I thought went well ) things have taken a turn for the worse. Do I feel bad, yeah I do but I;m trying to put a brave face on it and be positive. The good thing to come out of this is the fact that I have started my own music again.
It's getting on well with the music and I'm hoping it comes out good quality so I can publish it and get some coverage online. I have had minor contact with her today ( 2 messages with her ) but that seems like it - shes gone really cold on me and I have to admit it hurts a little ( well more than a little ). She hasn't seen my reply but I'm not holding my breath here - it looks like it's over and my battle is lost.
I should be in work now. I turned up at seven and took the keys and all that bullshit then waited until about 8.15pm. I then left and locked everything up. I don't care - I just don't care at the moment because I tried everything in my power to get this girl and it all came apart on me when it mattered most. I was going to go back to work about half eleven but to be honest I'll probably just sleep here until 5 and then drive straight down. I care not about this job now and I am desperate to earn full time online because working nights in my situation sucks. I see nobody and I live like a vampire. I'm lonely and in need of love but I just cannot see that happening now.
I hope to have better news for you tomorrow as my journey for improvement has stopped dead at the moment. I will try some pray tonight but as for positive thinking - I'm afraid that's a long way off now.
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