Been a good day so far but it's 8.23pm so there's plenty of time for it to go wrong but I've got POS printed on my hand again and I've been using it for positive vibes all day. Harding had some sort of test results today but I've only just contacted her to find out how they went. I only just got in contact as I am not going to be running round after her all day from now onwards - I'm gonna fill my day with online work and music production. The online work and the music I've done today have been top quality. I think this is due to the fact that I have not smoked so much today and I have been pushing for a positive feeling.
I was woke at just after 7.30 this morning by my day knocking on my door. He was on the way back from nightshift and he had a message for an oil delivery from my mum. Being up that early allowed me to go for a good run and has also allowed me to do plenty of things after. I'm back online now getting through more work and I'm feeling pretty good seeing I have not really spoke to harding yet today. She did send me a message regarding the fact that she had a gut feeling she had failed - she hasn't replied yet and she saw the message nearly 40 minutes ago. Oh well, if that's the way she want's it then that's the way she'll get it. I need action now and I'm starting to get a little irritated with her since I met her. I think she has had second thoughts about me and the revelations about me she heard yesterday probably have not helped. That is who I am though and my past is my past.
I'm feeling a little lifted through adding this music back into my life. I want to feel good about myself and be a success and the band is dragging me back at the moment, my new music is starting to shine through. I'm already pretty tired tonight due to the fact that I was up so early. I think I'm going to have an early computer shut down tonight - just keeping it on at the moment in case harding gets in contact with me.
Tomorrow I've decided I'm going to pull a fast one. What do I mean by that, well, I'm going to get to work by about 7 tomorrow night. After this I'm going to wait until about 8 and then piss off back home until about 12 at night. I know this is not going to bring me huge amounts of good karma but I need more time in the house to get some computer work done and a couple of studio/music hours done. I don;t yet know if I'll do it both nights but I'm seriously thinking about it. I have some great drive in me at the moment and I don't want to lose it.
Well it's 10.05 at night and she has not contacted me back. If she fails to tonight then I'm afraid that shes going to have to go on the back burner. She's got time but not much - I'm getting myself out of this hole and if she wants to come with me she's welcome to - if she doesn't then that's that - I am positive and I am going to succeed.
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