Before I start this post I should really mention my sister. She is currently away at a special hospital for eating disorders. I admit this today because I think I myself are starting to go down that road. About 5 weeks ago as you may know I started running at least 4 days a week to try and lose bulk weight from my upper body. I have lost weight but I could still do with losing more off my stomach. It's pretty sick really as I have found myself looking in the mirror at my side profile and sucking in my gut. it is now 2 and a half days before I meet harding and I am really paranoid about my gut weight - it is nowhere near what it used to be but it is there.
All this is no good for positive outlooks. My mother rang up earlier and put me in a worse mood than I was before with constant dithering about the oil needed for this house. I wish now I had been more helpful but I only ended up snapping at her. This is mainly because she is eating into my work time and I don't have much between nightshifts. Harding just messaged me asking how work was - I told her I had to work this morning in an attempt to slow down the requests for perfume etc. my own fault for trying to be the 'big man'.
This relationship with harding is now costing me serious money and I have a bachelor party and my sons birthday coming up. Got to stop trying to impress this girl with lavish gifts and rely on my charm ( oh god I'm f**ked ). I just can't afford to do this but I'm so desperate to get things right with her I'm willing to try anything. I'm on thin ice here as she just messaged me to find out how many birds I contacted through that dating site - had to be careful, said she was the first one I contacted and I was lucky she replied ( hopefully she will believe that even though it's complete bollocks.
Shes in the process of making me check out her friends on this dating site at the moment ( why, I have no f**king idea lol ). She wants my opinion - a little strange if you ask me - girls don't usually want you to look at other girls. Turns out she was at loggerheads with this girl - thank god I said she was much better looking. I'm getting a little nervous about Friday now - looks like we are going to be getting a chinese and eating it in a car, it's original I'll give her that. I'm going to have to wear something that compliments my figure and I'm going to dye my hair tomorrow. I'm off to work now and I'm just about to write POS on my hand for the rest of tonight. I won't be able to write it on my hand friday lol.
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